Amanda, I'm also in the year I'll turn 50 and quit drinking in 2017. :) Some of your struggles mirror my own, some are different. I wrote a poem as a young teen whose first line was also prescient for my journey into self-destruction as well as my way back... I've never written with that frame before, but now I'm interested in trying!❤️
I'd love to hear more about it Marika, please do share with me should you post about it! Also.. good for us, hey? I cannot believe I am almost 8 year sober - where did that time go?
I "woahed" out loud at the relatable, raw truth of a couple of your phrases. This one in particular: "Instead, I began another descent. This time into overworking as a shiny new vehicle for the addiction I had to proving my worth." This one got me. This was such a powerful, beautifully written piece. I loved it and saw phases of my life and hustling for worth in it.
Very powerful stuff, thanks for being so open. It helps to hear other people's story.
I'm learning to accept people love me and that might be because I've started to accept myself. I just couldn't believe anyone truly wanted me around, including my husband. I couldn't let the love in. I tried to control what people thought of me because I was terrified of not being liked and ended up blocking things out in the process. What changed? 9 months of coaching made me look at myself and my life differently, 19 months AF gave me a new life.
So, I've also stopped trying to control everything, something I find really difficult. But with it a softer happiness has opened up. I can enjoy small everyday things that I found boring when drinking.
I am 19 months alcohol free and I now realise I used it to deal with any and every emotion. Alcohol makes every feeling more intense, so I didn't know for a long time how I was really feeling.
I'm still on a journey but this time it's all of me if that makes sense. So at this juncture at the age of 52 I'm just trying to just enjoy being alive. I've stopped striving. There's no where to get to, I've already arrived.
Lorraine, my goodness - I am so thrilled for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hear the transformation in your words. I feel it. Also this: "There's no where to get to, I've already arrived." - wow. Here's to you! Thanks for being here ✨
Amanda, I'm also in the year I'll turn 50 and quit drinking in 2017. :) Some of your struggles mirror my own, some are different. I wrote a poem as a young teen whose first line was also prescient for my journey into self-destruction as well as my way back... I've never written with that frame before, but now I'm interested in trying!❤️
I'd love to hear more about it Marika, please do share with me should you post about it! Also.. good for us, hey? I cannot believe I am almost 8 year sober - where did that time go?
I'll tag you if/when I write it! Yeah, I cannot believe that it's been 8 years. I feel so LUCKY to have found this path!
I "woahed" out loud at the relatable, raw truth of a couple of your phrases. This one in particular: "Instead, I began another descent. This time into overworking as a shiny new vehicle for the addiction I had to proving my worth." This one got me. This was such a powerful, beautifully written piece. I loved it and saw phases of my life and hustling for worth in it.
Thank you so much Emily - I relate to many of your writings also ✨
Absolutely love and resonate so deeply with all of this, Amanda. And honestly the daily inventory you reference is a game changer!!!
Thanks Melissa and I agree - I have not missed a single inventory now in 60 days!
Very powerful stuff, thanks for being so open. It helps to hear other people's story.
I'm learning to accept people love me and that might be because I've started to accept myself. I just couldn't believe anyone truly wanted me around, including my husband. I couldn't let the love in. I tried to control what people thought of me because I was terrified of not being liked and ended up blocking things out in the process. What changed? 9 months of coaching made me look at myself and my life differently, 19 months AF gave me a new life.
So, I've also stopped trying to control everything, something I find really difficult. But with it a softer happiness has opened up. I can enjoy small everyday things that I found boring when drinking.
I am 19 months alcohol free and I now realise I used it to deal with any and every emotion. Alcohol makes every feeling more intense, so I didn't know for a long time how I was really feeling.
I'm still on a journey but this time it's all of me if that makes sense. So at this juncture at the age of 52 I'm just trying to just enjoy being alive. I've stopped striving. There's no where to get to, I've already arrived.
Lorraine, my goodness - I am so thrilled for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hear the transformation in your words. I feel it. Also this: "There's no where to get to, I've already arrived." - wow. Here's to you! Thanks for being here ✨